I wanted to survive not to die...so I left.

Updated: Sep 3, 2021

When you are first diagnosed with something, the first thing you might want to do is go find others who are suffering. That’s exactly what I did in 2016, but I didn’t find what you might expect, which was a support system. It actually turned into the exact opposite, a mob.


Many women in this group I found would share their experiences about how they were dealing with their tumors. I began to see some women posting about holistic methods. I was intrigued by it because all I had been offered by my doctors was a “we can not help you” message.


I dug deeper into the holistic message and went out to purchase some of the suggestions the ladies offered up. I began to see some results and was so excited, so I began to share it with the ladies. While some offered praises and some even inquired more, a lot of the women were quick to chaste my news, and tell me it was unwarranted here. I was so confused by it, wouldn’t you want your suffering to end if you had an option to do so?


I began to see more women being praised for going through surgery and dealing with the pain. It began to become evident to me that this group was to honor the suffering and I was choosing not to suffer, I was choosing to live. One woman even shouted at me, “No one wants your dirt medicine as you dance around the moon.” Well, my message to her today is, God Made Dirt & Dirt Don't Hurt.


I chose to leave that group after that woman sent me that message, and continue on my journey to healing without them. A year later, I requested my doctor look at my tumor again, she hesitated to do so, as she was sure nothing could have changed. To her surprise (not mine) it did change, my tumor had shrunk, and I was healthier than I ever had been.


I want to encourage women and men everywhere. Your diagnosis is not the end, it could be the beginning of a journey you never thought was possible. Speak up for yourself, advocate for yourself in your healthcare journey it is your health after all.


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